For Men Only:  

Secret Missile to Blow Up a Fight, before it can begin.

(Women beware the content herein could be classified as dangerous)

I think you’d agree that us men find it hard to understand women.

You forget some little thing or make some minor mistake, there’s an emotional explosion and you think ‘where’d that come from’

 

how to handle women

 

Well despite what the feminists tell us that men and women are just the same, (let me tell you ‘they’re totally wrong’). Men and women think differently about the same incident or issue.

 

 

A man’s brain is wired to find a solution, but a woman wants understanding and sympathy.

 

Write that down and memorize it. It will serve you well throughout your married life

 

Let’s look at an example to show what I mean. You’ll see what blokes do wrong.

John forgets to grab the milk that Cindy asks him to get on his way home.

 

Cindy has had a bad day, and barks at John when he shows up without the milk.

 

John, thinking like a man, says ‘I’ll get the milk after dinner’ and thinks that’ll be the end of Cindy’s anger. (offering a solution.)

 

But…

 

During dinner, he can still feel Cindy’s anger.

 

John returns her anger with his own anger and the whole ‘milk

situation’ explodes into WWIII.

 

******

 

Let’s launch the Scud to blow this fight up before it begins.  This is how we should handle it.

 

John needs to look deeper, you see the problem is not the problem (sorry fellas but that’s the way it is with women)
This is not about the milk…

 

Cindy: Where’s the milk?

 

John: Oh dear! I was totally spaced it out!

 

Cindy: It figures. (angrily)

 

John: (Taking Cindy in his arms) I can’t believe that I forgot the
milk. I’ve been so forgetful lately.

 

Cindy: (cooling down) It’s okay. It’s not a big deal.

 

John: Yes, it is a big deal. (cupping Cindy’s face in his hands)… and you’re just as busy as I am. I shouldn’t have forgotten such a small thing.

 

Cindy: (big smile) Ooh…I’ve just had a bad day and felt
completely unappreciated. I shouldn’t be a grump. You’re so sweet.

 

John: It’s okay…I was a bad boy…You can punish me later after I
get the milk………………………….. What happened today?

 

Cindy: Mmmmm…(and she tells him about her day.)

 

The milk is just an example. Us men need to look beyond the obvious, because the obvious isn’t the problem.

 

There’s nearly always something else behind it, our mission is to find it and show sympathy. The solution is secondary.

 

It’s important to understand is that you don’t have to SOLVE every problem.

 

It may seem problems in the marriage are over ‘money’ for instance, but more than likely… it’s not only about the ‘money’. Your wife could worried about your future security, about losing the house, and losing your love.

 

Just keep probing until you figure out what the problem really is.

 

So, men the first step is not to go to a space by yourself, to figure out a “solution”.

 

Rather listen carefully to her …and validate their feelings with words and emotions. TOGETHER.

 

Until next time

 

Keep strong, be encouraged, always hope.

 

Vic Matthews

reasons-not-to-divorce

 

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